


Twilight vs. Grey

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [316]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:04:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Clint reads a book out loud. Phil is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twilight vs. Grey

**Author's Note:**

> Phil worked on the remaining paperwork for the last mission. There were only a few dozen left. He’d have finished earlier if Clint would. just. shut. up.

“ _He’s in gray sweatpants that hang, in that way, off his hips and a gray sleeveless T-shirt which is dark with sweat, like his hair. Christian Grey’s sweat; the notion does odd things to me._  Okay. I get the appeal, but seriously. You wake up half-naked in his room with no recollection of what happened the night before, and all you think is ‘ _this notion does odd things to me’_? I would’ve been groaning from the hangover.”

The clack of the keyboard isn’t enough to drown out the ridiculous monologue the archer adds while reading the horrid book. Phil tried not to sigh out loud so as to not be rude but Clint was making it impossible to work.

“’ _Did I throw up again?’ My voice is quieter. ‘No.’ ‘Did you undress me?’ I whisper. ‘Yes.’ He quirks an eyebrow at me as I blush furious-_ Seriously??”

“It’s a story, Barton.” Phil commented. 

“A horrible story.” Clint grumbled. 

“Then stop reading it.” The older man suggested.

“I can’t. Stark bet me I can’t finish a book.”

“And you chose  _that one.”_ Phil wasn’t judging… he was just… why?

“ _Please._  I’d choose Twilight over this garbage. At least Twilight has battle scenes in it. Or at least the movie did.” 

“You watched the movie?” 

“Kate begged me to go with her. And if you get past the sparkling shit, the story was pretty cool - Flawed, and filled with unnecessary half-nudity, but the underlying war and philosophies were passable.”

Phil raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment on the fact that the wars didn’t actually start until further in the series. “Philosophies? You mean the stalking or the breaking and entering?”

“It’s not like we have the right to judge the characters. We do those things on a daily basis.” 

“Yes, but we do it for the safety of a lot of civilians. Edward did it because he fancied Bella.” Phil argued.

“Yeah, but he was hypnotized by her. Haven’t you ever had someone that you were inexplicably attracted to?” 

 _Yes, you -_ Phil’s mind answered for him. He had been staring at the archer for longer than necessary these past few  ~~years~~  months, looking away before he was caught. “Yes, but that’s not a reason to go ahead and stalk someone. Talking to the person often works wonders, I hear.”

“But Edward couldn’t. The point was for him to stay away, for his and her safety.”

“Then he probably shouldn’t have been breaking into her room just to tell her something idiotic like ‘I watch you sleep.’” 

“Didn’t stop you.” Clint snorted and when Phil shot him a glare, clamped his mouth shut. 

“I. was. nervous.” 

“He probably was too.” Clint defended.

“Okay, 1. Captain America is a hero. I’ve admired him since I was a little boy and meeting him in person was something I never dreamed possible. So forgive me if I was a little nervous. 2. I was granted access. Edward wasn’t. 3. Watching someone sleep is creepy.”

“So, 1. You admit to being a fanboy. 2. You admit to watching him sleep. 3. you admit that what you did was creepy.”

Phil rolled his eyes at him. “Yes. Fine. I was a creepy fanboy.”

Clint laughed, making his eyes sparkle. “See, that wasn’t so hard to say, now was it?” Phil sighed. “Besides, wouldn’t you want to just roll in the bed and look over to see that special someone sleeping beside you? Edward probably thought he could never have that with Bella, hence the breaking and entering.”

Yes, Phil could see the appeal of waking up next to Clint, to see his hair mussed from sleep, his eyes slowly blink awake, a small smile curving in his lips just before he says ‘Good Morning’. “But the situation you’re describing is for when they’re already together, and the other person already has express permission to be there. The breaking and entering not only made it illegal, it made the situation a hundred times creepier.”

“And yet the fans thought it was romantic. Maybe you just don’t have a romantic bone in your body, Coulson.” 

Phil sighed, out loud this time. “Maybe I don’t. Romance is a luxury we can’t afford in this line of business, Barton.”

“I beg to differ.” 

“Oh yeah?” Phil faced the archer completely. “Most SHIELD employees are single. The ones who have relations, sexual or otherwise, tend to end within the first three months. The ones who are married, most of them would tell you that stay together because they have kids. Or worse, because they are afraid of being alone. The smart ones, they engage in frequent one night stands or a fuck-buddy. We do not have the time, nor do we have the creativity to build up a romance that can stand the test of what we do. Tell me again how romance is possible in this line of work.” 

Clint closed his book and walked towards Phil’s desk, placing both his hands on the surface. “I’ll do better than that.”

“Oh?” Phil challenged.

“I’ll show you.”

“Oh.” 

“Saturday night. 7pm. I’ll pick you up. Dress nice.” Clint said.

“ _Oh.”_  was Phil’s only reply as he watched the archer leave his office, book already in his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/131293914921/ive-got-a-photoshoot-tomorrow-and-the-make-up)


End file.
